WBCOOP Report Card

Like a few others I know, I was fortunate enough to be able to participate in the WBCOOP on stars. Here's how I performed.


Monday, Jan 25th, NLHE

As the tournament started at 5pm, I wasn't able to make the start. Instead I raced home, saw I had about half a stack, and the promptly got into a blind vs blind situation: my AKs from the small blind running into QQ in the big blind. So, that was quick.


Tuesday, Jan 26th, PLO

I got home at the first break, and busted out so uncermoniously I can't recall the details. Let's just say that Australia Day did not treat me well from a poker playing perspective. Alliteration!


Wednesday, Jan 27th, NLHE

Despite the later start time I was a DNP, coach's decision. Instead Saunter and I relaxed and ordered Z Pizza. Have you tried Z Pizza? You should, if there is one near you. It rules. We recommend the Mexican pizza.


Thursday, Jan 28th, NLHE

Again a 6pm start, which was nice. For the life of me I thought I cashed in this one, for a $16.50 SCOOP ticket. Since I can't verify that from here, let's just pretend that I did, and that I played awesomely (probably not true).


Friday, Jan 29th, 8-game

In DC we were expecting a snow storm, so Saunter and I hunkered down while we drank and I played this event. Have I mentioned that I love the 8-game, particularly when playing a bunch of people who are only used to receiving two cards? Here is my guide to success:

1. Make sure to be seated at a table where everyone else is sitting out.
2. Ensure you have "never show winning hands" selected, and raise as fast as you can
3. Have just under 12,000 chips (i.e. 6 times the starting stack) half an hour into the tournament, when "live" people start joining your table
4. Despite there being only two other "live" people in your table, lose 4,000 chips in PLO as you run your second nuts into the nuts repeatedly.
5. Make it all back, and then some, as you realise people don't know how to play Razz or Triple Draw (OK, you knew that last one)
6. On two separate occasions lose at least half your stack when you didn't notice the game change from Razz to Stud (stupid alcohol!). In one hand I lost 10k to go down to just 10,000 chips, and in another hand I lost 18k to go down to about 10,000 chips.
7. Seriously, twice? I can understand once (maybe)... but twice?!
8. Despite this self-inflicted pain finally bust out in 27th of 1536 (mostly absent) players.

So, that was fun, and a $33 SCOOP ticket for me!


Saturday, Jan 30th, NLHE

This was an interesting event as I never really built a decent stack, and was left to short-stack ninja-ing for most of proceedings. Despite this I was able to finish in 78th of 1939, good for a $11 SCOOP ticket.


Sunday, Jan 31st, Main Event, NLHE

Again I was mostly short-stacking, but ended up busting out somewhere in the 300s. But thanks to the hubris of some joker named MI_Turtle I was rewarded with $1.58, for being one of the 600+ who finished ahead of him. Apparently Mr Turtle (I'm assuming a male) wanted to award $1000 to those who were awesome enough to outlast him. So yeah, that happened.


All in all, not a bad haul, even if my $16.50 ticket is imaginary. Once the SCOOP schedule comes out I'll be seriously tempted by the Triple Draw and 8-game events. Can't wait.

I can't wait until the Top Chef Blogger Championship!

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: 327812

Not Top Chef-Related, Or "Hey, a Euphonium!"

At some stage I intend to have a recap of Top Chef, with at least a breakdown of how all the chefs performed in our Fantasy Top Chef scoring system, and perhaps some thoughts on the finale (belated as it is). But not today.

You may be surprised to learn that I have a collection of nerdtastic feeds in my RSS reader. OK, you're not surprised, whatever. Anyhow, a few months ago (courtesy of slashdot, one of the original "nerd destinations" on the internet) I happened across ribbonfarm, a blog written by this guy named Venkatesh Rao. He had written an interesting post called "The Gervais Principle, Or The Office According to 'The Office'". If you haven't come across it yet, check it out.

This morning I read his post reviewing a book by Dan Pink called Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, which is about intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. Or perhaps more aptly "why giving people rewards for performance makes them do worse". This lead me down the rabbit-hole of internet searches and what-not, leading me to a TED talk he gave. (BTW - TED talks are awesome. Every so often I come across an article or something that references a TED talk, and they never fail to deliver).

In the "Other talks from 'New on TED.com'" list of videos, at the top was a video coming from some guy giving "the euphonium a new voice". Now, back in the day, I actually played the euphonium. It's basically a small tuba, sounding kind of like a trombone but using valves (like a trumpet or tuba does), instead of a slide. So without further ado, the craziest euphonium playing I've ever heard. The internet rules.



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In poker-related news, I've actually dabbled a little bit online since coming back from Vegas. I've been trying to grind the baby 8-game on PokerStars, but with so far uninspiring results. I might actually turn to multi-tabling Triple Draw like a crazy person, but we'll see if I get sucked in or not.

Post UIGEA, like many I suppose, I took most of my bankroll offline, and what I did leave online I didn't exactly manage with discipline. I haven't actually joined the Bankroll Challenge (because let's face facts, who knows if and when I'll be distracted by something shiny), but I'd like to get back to my roots and try and put together some semblance of an online roll. The thing I'm trying to avoid is getting frustrated (or drunk, or both) and playing higher than I should, or playing when tired, or deciding to play an $33 rebuy tournament for the hell of it. I'm even keeping a spreadsheet! We'll see if I manage to get anything going, or if I just manage to piss away the remains of my online roll one bad call at a time.

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 6: Odd Man(?) Out

After weeks of competition we have our final four, and it's exactly who we expected from early in the season. Somewhat surprising, as you would think that someone would get shafted somewhere, but Kevin, Bryan, Michael and Jen got though unscathed. Now they just have to get through each other. On a train.


Quick Fire Challenge

Really. A train. In Napa. That's where the next challenge is held, as Guest Chef Michael Chiarello tells the chefs they need to create a dish (on a train) featuring grapes. Did I mention they have to cook on a train? Because they do. But if they win? They totally get a Prius (which is not a train). Pretty swanky prize if you ask me!

Train.


Quick Fire Losers

Kevin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Kevin goes for a dessert, preparing a honey and fromage blanc mousse, glazed grapes, olive oil, and sea salt. It seems the grape got lost in there, somewhere, which does Kevin in. He may have been better server cooking a hunk of pork, and then just putting a pile of grapes next to it. "Here you go, the pork is fucking awesome. Also: grapes." Should be noted that Kevin overcome motion sickness to get the dessert out. Way to man up.

Bryan (Daddy, -0.5): Bryan's dish is roasted hen, bacon, Brussels sprouts, Concord grape reduction, ruby quinoa, and arugula. There seems to be a lot of "not-grape" ingredients here, and you may have noted that one of the ingredients is "bacon"... guess which taste wins? That's right, not grape, and Bryan also does not win. Sorry Daddy.

Jen (Saunter, -0.5): This was extremely confusing. Chiarello tastes Jen's sautéed chicken livers, steamed clams, macerated Cabernet grapes, wild mushrooms, and tendrils and then promptly announces he's stealing the recipe for one of his restaurants. Jen goes "it's all yours", because that's a sweet deal right? One chicken liver recipe for one Prius. Except she doesn't win.

Wait, what?


QF Winner

Michael (Garthmeister J., +3): Despite not having a recipe that Chiarello wants to steal, Michael wins. His dish? A grape leaf stuffed with "couscous," served with a vinegar-glazed grape and scallop kebab, using a grape branch as the skewer. So apparently the challenge was "use as many grape parts as possible" rather than "make a great dish featuring grape". Sorry Jen! Read the competition rules next time, as they are clearly printed inside Chiarello's mind. More points for Garth, and more Prius for Michael.


Elimination Challenge

Do you know what a "Crush" party is? Apparently it's an excuse that wine-related people use to get drunk at the end of the harvest (or some similar-ish time... like whenever they want to get hammered). Anyhoo, the chefs are commanded to create two dishes, one meat and one vege, for 150 people, using local products.


EC Winner

Bryan (Daddy, +6): And there are some points Daddy needed! Pity it's a few weeks late, but good job. Bryan's meat dish: fig-glazed short ribs, celeriac purée, wax beans, and wild arugula. His vege dish: goat cheese ravioli, delicata squash purée and bronze fennel. The judges loved the ravioli, but seemed to think that both dishes were underseasoned, and wanted more "figginess" from the glaze. This all makes sense, since Chiarello says the winner seasoned the food "as close to perfectly as possible". And the winner is Bryan.

Wait, what? (Again).

Seriously, Chiarello seems to be nuts. The only rationale I can think of for using this "seasoned as close to perfectly as possible" nonsense is to further emphasize why the eliminated person got eliminated. Which we will get to. Shortly.


EC Losers

Michael (Garthmeister J., -1): So, who thought Michael would produce a straightforward dish? No one? Well, everyone is correct. His meat dish was turnip soup with foie gras terrine, poached pear, and glazed turnip. He vege dish was vegetable pistou, heirloom tomato coulis, 63 degree egg, and fennel. Michael's turnip dish looked amazing, and apparently it tasted great, though the proportions were off. The vege dish wasn't a hit; there were complaints about the veges being too fine, and the egg not working out. Also: I think Gail kind of hated Michael.

Kevin (Garthmeister J., -1): The dishes in question: grass-fed brisket with pumpkin polenta and marinated root vegetables (meat) and roasted beets and carrots with carrot top puree and San Andreas cheese (vege). Despite my haranguing Kevin to always use meat, it was his vege dish which was the star and the brisket which let him down. The judges' initial responses (meat was ropey, meat was "tinny" - I mean, that sounds BAD) seemed a bit of a head fake, though that has to be balanced by the fact that they all adored his vege dish. But hey, for some reason I thought tinny, ropey meat might get someone eliminated at this stage.

Eliminated: Jen (Saunter, -1 for being a loser, +10 for 4th place): Strange. On one hand, Gail almost instantly complained about the saltiness of her duck (grilled duck breast, braised duck legs, squash purée, and foie gras vinaigrette), but then everyone claimed to love the "duckiness" of the dish. Her vege dish seemed to be taken well (chèvre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil), though mostly because Chiarello has never eaten cheese and basil together, despite being a professional chef. Seriously, what the hell is up with Chiarello? The way the show was edited, it seemed the death knell for Jen was that she was originally planning to grill the duck over coals, but the coals were too cool; thus instead of being rewarded for realising she was in trouble and going for a great Plan B, she was shafted. And thus explodes Saunter's last chef, netting her 10 points for finishing in 4th.

But worry not, my munchkins, I think I have the answer for this bewildering episode (other than Chiarello being insane): poor editing. Reading the blogs of Tom and Gail , it was clear to them that as soon as they tasted the food that Jen was going home. Given that info, I have to think that either the judges were really reaching for criticism of the other chefs, or that the editors tried to disguise the outcome as much as possible. After all, if Gail takes one bite of Jen's food and goes "well, she's going home", who stays until the end of the episode?

BUT! (hey, another "but", awesome) this still doesn't explain Chiarello's "seasoned the food as close to perfectly as possible" comment, even if they were trying to emphasise the reason for Jen getting the boot. Just very strange all round, without including the rest of the Guest Judge's random actions.


League Table

Garthmeister J.: 40.5 (+0.5)
Saunter: 21.5 (+8.5)
Daddy: 13.5 (+5.5)


And Garthmeister J. officially locks up 1st place! Even if Bryan wins out that only adds 56 points to Daddy's total, bringing him to 69.5. The two runner-ups would receive a total of 53 points for Garth (20+35 for 2nd and 3rd - which would be split between the two - minus one point each for losing), bringing him to 93.5. That means with the finale still to play out, our leaderboard is set: Garth takes 1st, Daddy takes 2nd, and Saunter takes 3rd. This also means that we are all free to cheer for who we like in the finale, though I have to wonder if weeks of cheering Kevin and Michael on will get in the way of Garth embracing Bryan fandom...

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 6: Higher, Faster, Stronger

Oh, we're almost there. Will we see the final four be the same chefs identified from about week 2? Or will the Dark Horse Eli gate-crash the party? At least Robin got the boot, after dodging the axe for almost the entire season.

Quick Fire Challenge

The guest chef this week is Gavin Kaysen, who represented the USA in the "Culinary Olympics" aka the Bocuse D'Or. I have never heard of such a thing, but apparently it's a "pretty big deal". Apparently in the competition Kaysen made a ballotine: a protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein, or something like that. Yes, the obvious thought is of a turducken, the turkey/duck/chicken creation that John Madden used to talk about every Thanksgiving (aside: I wonder if the pre-Thanksgiving timing of this episode was coincidental? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's coincidental).


QF Losers

Note: since there are only four chefs left, there is one winner, and all the rest are losers by default.

Michael (-0.5, Garthmeister J.): Arrogant as ever, Michael decided he would do a terrine (basically layered pressed meat), rather than a ballotine. Apparently Chef Kaysen is not going to let any other chef out-arrogant him, and shoots down Michael instantly for not making the correct dish. Face!

Kevin (-0.5, Garthmeister J.): Kevin's dish featured catfish, shrimp, and scallop. Did you pick out Kevin's failing? That's right, he used seafood. FAIL. Apparently his catfish was also a little dry.

Eli (-0.5, Saunter): Eli's dish was a bit out of left field for me: bacon-crusted breakfast sausage with a six-minute egg. At first blush this seemed a bit like the odd-dish-out, but apparently Kaysen liked the concept... just not enough to make Eli the winner.

Bryan (-0.5, Daddy): Pop quiz: would you like a rack of lamb and some Merguez sausage wrapped in caul fat? I dunno, I wouldn't want to commit to it before tasting some. Apparently it was well executed, but still ends up with a big L for Bryan and Daddy.


QF Winner

Jen (+3, Saunter): Again bemoaning her recent crapitude, Jen decided to make a command decision to return to her roots: seafood. Upon tasting the calamari, scallops, and salmon dish Padma says "Welcome back,", and Kaysen welcomes Jen back to the winner's circle.


Elimination Challenge

For the Elimination Challenge the chefs are informed they will be competing in a cut-down version of the Bocuse D'Or. They will have to produce something called a "regal presentation platter", with a protein and two garnishes. I only wish I knew what that was. The judges? A bunch of Bocuse D'Or related folks, including the son of the founder... and also Thomas Keller. No pressure!


EC Winner

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +6): In a bit of a shock, Kevin takes home the prize in a contest you thought would favour the more fancy-pantsed chefs. Not so! The K-man does this thing, cooking great food, and even decides to experiment with sous vide to up the difficulty rating. Kevin obtains $30k(!), a chance to compete to represent the US in the real Bocuse D'or, and nabs Garth another 6 points.


EC Losers

As there is only one winner, everyone else is a loser.

Bryan (Daddy, -1): Daddy loses points, which is the last thing he needs. Frustrating, as Bryan probably would have taken home the prize if he had time to properly finish his dish. The elder Volt definitely did seem flustered, but even in defeat he showed the class that could cause him to loom in the finals.

Michael (Garthmeister J., -1): Probably the odds-on favourite to take this EC out, Michael managed to flounder by going for a Mediterranean theme that did not quite match the components. Making a dish that doesn't come together is rare for Michael, and he certainly didn't seem happy about the outcome. No need for Garth to worry at this stage; Michael is sure to punching on going forward.

Jen (Saunter, -1): Jen had an extra half hour to cook, the reward for winning the Quick Fire, but it wasn't enough to allow her to win the challenge. She continues to go the fish route, being smart and playing to her strengths, but it still wasn't enough. Nonetheless, encouraging signs for Saunter.

Eliminated: Eli (Saunter, -1): The valiant Eli finally goes down. He seemed a little overmatched in this challenge, and his concerns about being sloppy were not unfounded. Saunter 's hopes of having a second chef sneak into the top four are dashed, and she is left to pin all her hopes on Jen... a dicey proposition at best.


League Table

Garthmeister J. : 40.0 (+4.0)
Saunter: 13.0 (+0.5)
Daddy: 8.0 (-1.5)

After the dust settles and the final four is announced Garth has pretty much locked up the trophy, depending on whether the final episode has three chefs (as expected) or goes heads up, but it looks over at this point.

UPDATE: Casting Call for the Luckbox Last Longer Challenge

UPDATE: It looks like I will be joining the brothers Penner, in the team provisionally named "Geek Nation". You guys are going to get out-coded so badly.

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God Bless the kind folks at PokerStars, and God Bless CJ (who I have never met, actually) for organising the Luckbox Last Longer Challenge. I see the teams are signing up, which is great, except for one thing... I'm not in one yet! I am not on The FaceBook or The Twitter, so don't know exactly who out of the remaining tournament attendees are still unattached.

So! If you are:

a) intending to play the WPBT
b) not yet committed to a Last Longer team
c) would like to ensure that your team is at least 1/3 Australian
d) don't mind if at least 1/3 of your team is not very good at poker

send me a note in the comments, or by alternative technologies (and by alternative I mean not The FaceBook or The Twitter), and we'll see if we can get this party started.

Not convinced? Check out my additional live tournament poker credentials!

• Finished in 50th or so of 209* entrants in the $1000 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball (Limit) w/Rebuys at the 2007 WSOP**
• Finished in 4th place in a charity tournament at the Hard Rock in 2008 that featured a humongous list of Pros***

Not yet impressed?

* Yes, "50th or so". Poker rewards those with a keen mathematical mind who show attention to detail.

** WPBT event is not a 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball event, so don't expect me to just magically finish in the top quarter of the field. Just saying.

*** Please note: I crippled myself when 4-handed in a battle of the blinds, when I managed to get it all-in against Chip Jett with Q7s. Sure, Chip had 66, but still... ever had a tournament director announcing your action at a final table, and having it sound like this: "And Garthmeister J. is all-in! Chip Jett calls... Garthmeister shows Q7 suited". No? Want to live vicariously through someone who has?

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 5: Finally!

A bit tardy with the review of last week's episode, but I am a tardy man. From the starting 17 we are down to 6, and amazingly one of these six is Robin. Given the overall talent level of this season, this is some kind of craziness. Could this be the week she goes home? Please say yes!


Quick Fire Challenge

The chefs head to the Venetian, and are blind-sided by Padma and Nigell Lawson calling the kitchen and demanding room service, in this case some breakfast in bed. Aren't they fancy! Yes, Padma and Nigella are being very fancy indeed. The extra wrinkle is they only have half an hour, so there isn't much room for screwing up.


QF Losers

Robin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Seriously, every time I write about the losers I can just type in Robin's name without thinking. She is continuously scattered, ill-prepared, and amazingly annoying. This time her crap dish is blintz with goat cheese, caramelized pineapple, and blueberries. I'm pretty sure she said at one point this is her specialty, which makes sense, since her other specialty is sucking. Right now Garth is just praying she gets eliminated before she loses too many points for him, and also causes him to shoot his TV.

Bryan (Daddy, -0.5): Bryan misfires on this one, with his four-minute egg with vanilla buerre fondue, crab, asparagus spears, and corn polenta. The consensus here seems to be "you screwed yourself with the vanilla, dude". Bryan has seemed a little shaky at the moment, but maybe the pressure is getting to everyone (except Robin, who is going to be crap no matter what). Daddy not only doesn't need Bryan causing his total to go down... he really needs Bryan bringing home wins.


QF Winners

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +1): This dude will not quit with the awesome food. This time it's steak and eggs with crème fraiche, aged cheddar, and green onion. Of all the dishes I saw, this is the one I wanted to eat. Kevin + meat = win. Ignoring of course last week, when apparently Kevin - meat = win also. So solving this parallel equations, we... sorry, I can't concentrate, too hungry.

Overall QF Winner: Eli (Saunter, +3): Eli! The big man is making his run, taking home the gold for his fried egg Reuben Benedict with Thousand Island Hollandaise sauce. Points for originality there! Can Saunter bank on Eli being a contender, in case Jen continues to flame out?


Elimination Challenge

For the elimination challenge the chefs all draw knives, getting the name of a casino that they are meant to base a dish on, to serve at a party for 175 people. I was intently watching to see if anyone would get the Imperial Palace, but apparently they didn't flash the big bucks, as they didn't make the cut. The breakdown went like this: Michael (New York, New York), Robin (Bellagio), Bryan (Mandalay Bay), Eli (Circus Circus), Jen (Excalibur), Kevin (Mirage). Seems to me the odd ones out are Eli and Jen, with the "Tier 2" casinoes. On the other hand, I have no idea what I would be making if I had the Bellagio or the Mirage to work with.


Elimination Winners

Bryan (Daddy, +2): Bryan's escabeche of halibut with bouillabaisse consommé, pine nuts, parsley coulis, and garlic chips was good, but not quite good enough. And is it just me, or do a lot of the dishes Bryan has been cooking involve garlic chips?

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +2): Somewhat surprisingly, Kevin does NOT win a challenge. His wild Alaskan sockeye salmon cured in salt and sugar with Napa cabbage and cucumber was a hit, however, particularly the broth component of the dish. I think the issue here was that Kevin didn't use red meat. Maybe I have to adjust my formulas.

Overall EC Winner: Michael (Garthmeister J, +6): Frankly, this isn't fair. If Kevin doesn't win a challenge for Garth, it's Michael swooping in. The dish that scored for him this time was a boneless chicken wing confit with curry and fresh pepper juice and a blue cheese disc. This is a "Buffalo Wings" remix, which is somewhat confusing, as the casino was "New York, New York", not "Buffalo, New York". I wonder what that casino would have, anyway. A lot of fake snow, empty steel factories, and a bunch of "AFC Champion" flags?


EC Losers

Jennifer (Saunter, -1): Once again Jennifer strikes out, somehow messing up her Excalibur-inspired "sword-in-the-stone" New York strip with a red wine reduction, beets, truffles, and herbs. She continues to fall apart, to Saunter's dismay.

Eli (Saunter, -1): So much for the comeback. The weird thing is that Eli seemed really confident overall, but then proceeded to produce this: aramel apple peanut soup with popcorn and raspberry froth. I mean, seriously. How does this sound like a good idea? Eli seemed to have got hung up on the challenge parameters, got fixated on a bad idea, and then promptly imploded. To be honest, I was astounded he wasn't eliminated for this train-wreck of a dish.

Eliminated: Robin (Garthmeister J., -1): Oh happy day! Robin goes down, finally! Her downfall was she made a panna cotta, with intent of making a glass-like garnish, mimicking the Dale Chihuly sculpture in the Bellagio, but she totally screwed up the glass and didn't use it. In addition, she totally screwed up the panna cotta. (Side note: has anyone on Top Chef actually made a panna cotta that anyone liked?). Despite her failure of execution, I still really thought Eli was out of here... but I am glad the judges stole Robin. Oh yeah, it cost Garth another point, blah blah blah, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.


League Table

Garthmeister J: 36.0 (+7.5)
Saunter: 12.5 (+1)
Daddy: 9.5 (+1.5)


Garth continues to streak ahead, riding his big horses, while finally getting rid of his ballast. Saunter now has to be concerned about Eli and Jen; can the bounce back? Again? And same old story for Bryan: Daddy needs winners.

Garth is actually getting close to taking the title outright, without the competition completing. If eliminations go his way in the near future we may be able to crown an Inaugural Top Chef Fantasy champion!