Monday, July 24, 2006

White Water Weekend

I just got back from a poker-free weekend, spent in the Wilds of West Virginia. It was All-Star's birthday, so a bunch of us roadtripped out to the New River for some white water rafting action. I wish I had set the over-under for the number of "Deliverance" jokes. Not to mention the line for number of "Yo Mama" digs, which would have been stratospheric since All-Star's girlfriend was onboard (she is the Queen of the "Yo Mama" put-down) - I would have cleaned up if I had set the line at some ludicrous-looking number like 100. It would have been crushed by Saturday afternoon.

All-Star's girlfriend had rented a humongous van which held 8 of us, all our gear, and still had space to spare. We stayed in some new cabins adjacent to the rafting company we were going with, which was a smart move... and not just because the cabin featured a jacuzzi.

You know what? Let's throw up a good old-fashioned score card.

Highest Class of Rapid we challenged: 5
Number of times we capsized: 1
Number of drinks consumed: Pick a large number
Number of times "Wine Away" had to be busted out: Pick another large number
Number of times in the hot tub: 2
Number of times I was in the hot tub, while drinking and wearing a Burger King crown: 1
Maximum occupancy of the hot tub: 6
Maximum number of people we fit in there: 8
Times the fire alarm went off spuriously at 5am: 1
Number of hours we missed check-out time by: 2
Times a co-worker called me at midnight on Saturday, but I didn't answer: 1
Number of times the co-worker worked out the problem himself: 1

We lucked out with our rafting guide, "Sib". A guy in his late 30's, Sib realised very early on that he had a raft full of degenerates, and was enjoying our repartee. After I made a comment about someone's gag-reflex he contributed a good old-fashioned dirty joke, and I knew that we had a good sort onboard.

As part of the rafting trip they have someone who takes a video, and then compiles it straight afterwards. This means you can then retire for a refreshing beverage or three and then watch yourself being punished by the river. Good times. One of our number purchased a copy of the DVD - you never know, if I get motivated I may end up posting a clip of us getting munched.


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