Thursday, May 31, 2007

WSOP Online Pre-registration Hosed?

I just attempted to pre-register online for the WSOP event I am planning to enter, and I had an issue with my first try, as the button to launch the credit card app wasn't working. I called up the helpline, and was advised that online pre-registration wasn't working, and that I would have to do it in person. Has anyone else run into this, or know anything more than whatever Harrah's drone told me? I might have to chase this up tomorrow...

Things I Forgot From This Weekend

As part of my Memorial Day Weekend recap, I totally forgot to mention the fun that was Kat's Donkament last Friday evening. As previously mentioned, I had a completely shithouse week last week, and an extremely painful Thursday night/Friday morning. Thus when it came for the Donkament I was ready to shove chips in with abandon. Which I did. Every hand. I changed it up a little (at one point I said to Kat that I thought I would fold one hand just to freak everyone out), and then started being a little judicious with my pushing since people started limping in ahead of me, which was annoying. If you push you'll get me to call!

Anyhow, you should go to Kat's and read the recap (it features an Unseen Royal Flush. Now go!)

I'm not sure if I'll be there for the tournament tomorrow, but I can still slap this up here:

I can't argue more strongly for people to jump in the Donkament. Best therapy in poker.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fast and Frenzied

Just over a month ago I posted about another writing event that had sprung from the same minds who brought you National Novel Writing Month. This time it's Script Frenzy! I have various reasons for demurring, and refusing to take the plunge this time. These include:

1) My June is PACKED. Aussie Rules Football games against North Carolina and Boston, plus trips to Chicago and to Las Vegas for the WSOP.
2) Work is currently insane
3) I have never written a screenplay
4) I have only vague ideas of what I want to write about
5) Screenplay formatting scares me (and I haven't gotten around to looking at my screenplay software options)

Given 1-5 above, do I think I can write a 20,000 word screenplay in 30 days? I'm not sure. But I'm gonna try.

This weekend I almost picked up a copy of my Best Airport Bookstore Purchase Ever, a book by William Goldman called "Which Lie Did I Tell?" I don't own it anymore, as it was part of my worldly possessions that I divested myself of prior to moving to the US. You might not recognise the name, but Goldman is the screenwriter behind such films as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All The President's Men, The Princess Bride, Misery amongst others. I don't think I had ever considered writing a screenplay before, but Goldman's tales made me laugh out loud, and for the first time consider even trying my hand at the form.

I have to admit being daunted by the unfamiliar format, as well as my other reasons stated, but I figure I may as well have a tilt at it. Hopefully one month from now I'll be the proud and still-mostly-sane owner of a horrible first rough draft of a screenplay.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Save Darfur, Save the World

Being an ex-pat in the US means you encounter various Pros and Cons. Many of the Pros include things that are available here that you can't get at home (Exhibit A: Five Guys Burgers), while many of the Cons include things you can't easily get here (Exhibit B: Meat pies). There are certain areas that are Pro/Pro, however, and I regard Public Holidays as one of them. I get stiffed on a few that I would normally get at home (Good Friday, Easter Monday, Boxing Day, the weird bullshit ones like Foundation Day), but that's offset by the American ones I get to take off while not being hindered by having to spend them, say, with my family.

(Note to Mum and Dad: I do not mean you guys, OK? OK.)

In that vein, I can state categorically that Thanksgiving is my favourite US holiday. A four day weekend, without the obligation to spend most of those four days listening to Uncle Dave tell his fishing stories? Gold!

Memorial Day is another great holiday; not only is it regarded here as the onset of summer, but I also have a notoriously bad time in remembering when it actually occurs, making it a pleasant surprise. When I realised a couple of weeks ago it was imminent, I started getting excited. Then when it appeared that I had no sports commitments, and most of the people I knew were leaving the city... it looked like a good old-fashioned Reclusive Garth weekend. Saddle up!

In my extremely hungover state on Sunday afternoon I entered the Darfur tournament on Stars. I was feeling the worse for wear, but was prepared to let my inner donkey loose for the sake of charity. Historically I have a good record in charity tournaments (see here and here), though I hadn't gone the rebuy route before. As is my normal modus operandi in rebuys I immediately double bought, and was rewarded by getting KK UTG+1 to start proceedings. I gleefully shoved all my chips in, assuming at least one person would come along for the ride, especially as it was the first hand in a charity rebuy tournament. I was not disappointed, as someone who was in for a single buy-in called with JJ, my Kings held up, and I was away. Within 10 minutes I was over the 9k mark, and never looked back.

I was sitting pretty at 22nd at the end of the first hour, not bad for 600+ remaining out of 744 runners. During the next few hours I was up and down, but felt I was playing pretty solid poker. I kept in touch with AlCantHang, Pauly, Change100, Derek, and yestbay plus the "in the tournament, but absent" Drizz and Bayne.

I was winning enough pots to keep my head above water and solidly above par, but with less than 100 remaining I was starting to get a little anxious... which is when lightning struck. A stack of equal size got all his chips in, I looked down to see KK, got all my chips in and had my hand hold up again, busting my opponent. That win put me in the top half of proceedings. The bustout resulted in a table change, and I was moved with one of the players from my old table. This guy had come over the top of one of my pre-flop raises previously, and since on that occasion I had JTs I folded quickly. First hand at the new table I am UTG+1, and see AA. I make my standard raise, and my old friend from my old table once again pushes all-in over the top. I call with glee, and his KQo can't outrun my rockets.

Let's recap: with 74 or so of 744 people remaining I bust an equal sized stack with KK, get moved to a new table, and the very next hand bust another player with AA because of previous history.

Perfect storm.

That vaulted me into 2nd of those remaining, and all of a sudden I was a real threat to not only get myself an autographed DVD, but there was a chance I could be deciding how to choose who would come to LA with me.

But it wasn't to be. I continued to play solidly, remaining in contention though slowly slipping down from my heights of 2nd. As the bubble approached I had a stack that while not tiny, was not providing a lot of legroom. With 25 to go a big stack limped, another bigstack made a standard raise, and I looked down at AKs. I decided to push - I was unsure if the second bigstack was going to come along for a ride, but I decided I'd take fold equity + coinflip for a chance to take down either a nice pot or a double up to put me in place for a good finish. It turns out I was up against QQ. The flop brought a K, but the river gave me one of the two cards I didn't want to see. That's poker.

I raised my beer, and saluted all those who had helped contribute over 20k to the prizepool, meaning that over 40k in total would go to the worthy cause. I also raised my beer in derision to those raibirds who were asking the table questions like "the entire prize pool goes to first, right?" Which part of "charity tournament" don't you understand?

All in all it was an enjoyable way to chase off a hangover. I would have loved to "cash", but I was extremely happy with my play. A big thanks to all those who came out for the tournament, and to those who rail-birded me, and I certainly hope your hangovers were less severe than mine.

And how did my Memorial Day Weekend finish up overall? By Monday afternoon I had not left my apartment since arriving home from work Friday evening except to obtain food or alcohol, and had spent the vast majority of time up until then either drunk, drinking, asleep, hungover, playing poker... or some combination thereof. Mission Accomplished.

Now I definitely can't wait for July 4th. God Bless America!

Friday, May 25, 2007

How Should I Put This

So much going on right now in Garthmeister J-land, but I am tired and cranky. A combined three hours of sleep as a result of dealing with a 20 hour work issue isn't conducive to blogging, to be honest. No matter that I woke up and immediately downed a Red Bull, and have already consumed about 3 times my normal intake of caffeine (which wasn't a negligible amount to begin with).

Breakfast of Champions!

It appears I may be spending my Memorial Day weekend flying solo at the Disco Compound (aka the DC/DC), with ambitions to catch up on long-delayed chores and tasks. And play a shit ton of poker. While drinking. Heavily.

I'm unsure how I'll manage tonight, given the lack of sleep, excess of stimulants, and generally messed up headspace, but I think it might be fun finding out. It could go either way, really; I could end up passing out for 16 hours straight as soon as I get back to the DC/DC, or I could begin an epic booze binge that has me drinking my way around the Nation's Capital until I black-out and wake up to find myself half naked behind a dumpster with blood on my hands.

Fun times.

Be safe! (Or at least, safer than I will be)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ocean's 13 Darfur Tournament this Sunday

As mentioned by the Good Doctor:

Overview of the Ocean's Thirteen Darfur Charity Tournament:

These tournaments are special re-buy tournaments - the entire prize pool will be matched by PokerStars and donated to the Darfur relief efforts. At the conclusion of the event the prize pool, which will be temporarily awarded to the 1st place finisher, will be removed from the 1st place finisher's account. The amount will then be matched by PokerStars and sent forward to the Darfur charity. Thank you for participating — go re-buy crazy! — it's for a good cause. Good luck!

Date: May 27th 2007, 15:30 ET
Buy-in: $10 plus rebuys.
Prizes: Top 4 receive tickets to June 5th premiere in Los Angeles plus 2 nights hotel and $2k for travel/spending. Top 18 receive autographed copy of "Oceans 13" DVD. Total prize pool will go to charity. PokerStars will match the donation. The tournament is open to all players. Good luck!

I am hoping to make it (my Memorial Day Weekend plans are a bit up in the air at the moment), but if you can get there, do your part for charity!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

An Update Via 7 Things

A mini-hiatus from the blog, you may have noticed, due to some things I'll get to shortly. Since I have been tagged a couple of times in this current "7 Things I Didn't Know About You" meme, I figure I'll give you the lowdown via those. Some people know about some of them, but hell, I'm mentioning it anyway.

1. Last Tuesday afternoon I discovered that due to an (apparent) error made by the Customs and Border Protection agent who re-admitted me to the US last September, I was technically in the country illegally... and had been for over 3 months.

As soon as I realised the problem I contacted my company's Immigration Lawyer, but at the time I had no idea whether it was possible to fix the problem, or if I was going to be able to fix it if I went to a US Consulate outside the US, or if I just had to up an leave the country immediately.

Bad times.

I made phone calls, I scoured through documentation and regulations online, made appointments with US Consulates in two different countries, and investigated leaving for my home town ASAP. Dealing with bureaucracies is never easy, and with the stakes this high I was most definitely not in my happy place.

Last Friday I got some information suggesting that I could get the error corrected by going to a special office at Dulles airport. I headed there on Monday but got stiffed... everyone was apparently on "mandatory training" (though I only discovered this after waiting around for an hour). Undaunted (OK, kind-of-daunted) I headed back yesterday morning, and despite tardy opening of the office, managed to get the issue sorted out in the least painful manner imaginable.

Yes, I'm legal again. At least until late April 2008. You know, if I'm still employed by a company who is sponsoring me.

Special thanks to those people who were online at various points and let me freak out at them. I appreciated the concern, the outrage, and the advice. Extra special thanks to those people who offered marriage, even though it wouldn't have helped this time, don't think that I've forgotten.

2. The Wednesday morning following my discovery of my bad status we had an All Hands meeting at work. During that meeting it was announced that the product that I support was being spun off into a new venture, using a different company's technology. Following the meeting was a series of "one on one" meetings, and in mine I was told that my position would probably be eliminated in November or December.


I'm normally a pretty level-headed guy (Immigration status freak-outs aside), but on the back of my discovery of the previous day, this news didn't make much of a dent anyway. It is not a foregone conclusion at this stage - I'm needed to help manage things during the whole changeover process for now (my boss and other people finish up July 1st). There are still possibilities of moving into another position, or into the new company, so we'll see. Still early days. At the very least I am meant to see paperwork regarding my staying on for the company stating retention bonus, severance package, and other details. Once I have a look at that and the associated terms (for example: guaranteed duration of employment is something I'd really like to see), I'll have a little more information.

I have also spoken to HR, especially regarding my Visa etc., so I am hopeful that this can be sorted out. Interesting times, again.

3. OK, I think that's enough of the "Garth's latest news" stuff. How about useless facts about me? When I was living in Edmonton, Canada for a couple of years while I was in highschool, I actually played cricket. Edmonton had (and maybe still has) two grades of cricket; as I was under 18 I could play for anyone from week-to-week, and thus became a "super-sub", playing for anyone who was short. I ended up playing full-time for a team full of Sri Lankans, all named Patel. They used to love having me run around in the outfield, flying about the place as only a 15 year old can. I also ended up representing the province of Albert in "under 18" cricket (along with my brother), and the city of Edmonton for the "under 21" team.

As part of representing Alberta, my brother and I got to go to Vancouver for a week-long cricket camp (I believe this was in 1992). We stayed with a family headed by an ex-pat English guy who was gregarious and gambly. As part of the "entertain the guests" program during the week we occasionally played cards, which was the first time I was ever exposed to Texas Hold'em. I recall getting heads up at one stage, and really enjoyed it, though I do not recall any specifics other than that. The next time I played Texas Hold'em was over a decade later.

4. Most of you are aware that I play Australian Rules Football here in the US, for the Baltimore Washington Eagles. Aussie Rules is a high impact contact sport, played without pads. Despite this fact, during my career I have only had two serious-ish injuries. Back in Australia I was playing in a local league in Perth, and during one wet and muddy day against North Fremantle I was getting a little too much of the ball, and the Ruckman (the equivalent of a Centre in basketball) decided to elbow smash me instead of trying to tackle me. I'm pretty sure I was knocked out, though I came to when I was dragged up by my jumper by one of my team mates. I was completely out of it and running around randomly, though I took myself off when I kind of came to my senses and realised there was blood dripping out of my nose.

Long story short: it turns out I had suffered an Orbital Blowout Fracture; the floor of my right eye's orbital "blowing" downwards. Complicating matters was the fact I had also suffered nerve damage (the injury didn't actually hurt at the time), and I had no feeling in a huge section of the right side of my face. It also resulted in the Greatest Black Eye of All Times[tm]. The nerve damage complicated things, and I didn't get the correct diagnosis until a week later.

I eventually saw a cranio-facial surgeon, who told me that my right cheekbone had been depressed a fraction of a millimeter, but it could be "pulled" back into place if I wanted. He assured me there was only a 5% chance of going blind in my right eye. So I thanked the Doctor for his time, and left his office.

Before I left he did tell me that the feeling in my face should return in a few months. He also told me not to play any more footy that year, so naturally I played the last three games of the season. The feeling eventually did come back, but the nerve that was damaged goes through your cheek and to your temple. To this day I still have a "fuzzy spot" in my right temple as a result.

The other injury? Mallet finger - caused when I got a football right on the end of the finger, causing the tendon to fly off, taking a huge chunk of bone with it. Again, it didn't really hurt at the time, and I only left the ground after noticing that the top join of my right middle finger was seriously drooping and I couldn't straighten it. I ended up seeing an orthopedic surgeon, and had to have a pin inserted into my finger. The pin actually protruded from the end of the finger, and had a protective "ball" at the end of it.

I actually had to fly a few days after the surgery, and can confirm that I was able to work through the metal detector without setting it off.

After 6 weeks or so of having it in, the surgeon removed the pin in his office, without much warning. It was a pretty weird experience. After having it removed I actually had to go to "finger rehab" to gain full motion in my top joint; after being immobilised for six weeks my finger wasn't really interested in being able to move at all.

5. Wow, I can't write short things today, can I? Alright, let's try and keep these next few facts at least shortish. In grades 8 and 9 and half of 10 (before I moved to Canada) I played an instrument. I started on trumpet, but was moved to the euphonium, which is basically a baby tuba which sounds exactly like a trombone but uses valves instead of a slide.

I know, how about a picture!

Ladies, it's OK to be turned on

It was a bitch to lug around the place, though I actually managed to leave it on a public bus a couple of times; hilarity ensued. Even though I haven't tried to play a euphonium (or trumpet for that matter) in a while, I can still play a scale and I might even still be able to play sheet music, as long as it's in bass clef.

6. Maybe I'm scarred by Waffles' post, but how about a sex fact? I lost my virginity when I was 18, within 0.2 seconds of entering University. I was scooped up by a 19 year old 2nd year Psychology student named Vanessa who had bright pink hair and a pierced nose. I hadn't dated much (like, at all) during High School, and thus it wasn't a surprise when our "relationship" imploded completely after 3 months or so, which is a pattern that has repeated itself a few times since (bonus fact!: the longest relationship I have ever been in was for a year with an Irish girl on a temporary visa in Sydney... 18 months if you count the time when she was in Ireland, up until I went and visited her).

I did manage to meet Vanessa's mother accidentally (bonus fact!: I have never met the mother of any of my other girlfriends), when I was waiting for Vanessa to come back to her apartment. There was a knock on the door, and I opened it to see a middle-aged woman.

"Who are you?" asked the woman.

"Who are you?" I replied, since I was the one was actually answering the door.

So yeah, that's how I met Vanessa's mum. Vanessa called her mum after she returned, and her mum contributed such gems as "he's so young" and "make sure you use a condom". Gold!

7. OK, how about another sex fact? The biggest age difference I have had with a partner was 13 years; I was 22, she was 35. That was a one night stand that went horribly wrong, as I was completely unable to escape her clutches. The next morning I attempted to leave (despite not knowing where I was), but she offered me a lift. I tried to get her to drop me off at home, but she suggested a movie (which was? American Beauty. OH MY GOD that was not the right situation to be seeing that film). After the move I again tried to get home, but she dragged me to dinner.

I finally managed to get home, and not have her follow me inside, though she invited herself over the next night and tried to get me back in the sack. It took me another full week to finally get the message through. Craziness.

Allegedly I am meant to tag some other people, but I choose to abstain. If nothing else, given my tardiness anyone who is going to do this has already done it, right? Right.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

This Week's Repeat

Apropos of nothing I have decided that I need to write about music. Why? No good reason, to be honest. I am frightfully out of touch with what the kids these days are listening to, ever since I left Australia and the Best Radio Station on Planet Earth, Triple J. Sure, I should just listen to it online, but I never seem to remember to do so.

[just let me put on the online stream for Triple J first]

[and if you want a hit of Industrial Strength Australiana, you should listen to This Sporting Life. You will never be the same again once you listen to HG and Rampaging Roy Slavin.]

OK, where was I. Ah yes. Anyway, despite being woefully underexposed to new music, I nonetheless come across the odd song that I find myself listening to obsessively. Sometimes this is a new song, sometimes it's an old favourite, and sometimes it's a hidden gem that has been languishing unrecognised in my collection until something has brought it to light.

With no further ado, here are a few songs that I've been listening to recently. And yes, as always, feel free to ridicule my selections mercilessly, or alternatively tell me about songs I should be listening to. I'm calling this Blog Segment "This Week's Repeat", despite the fact that I didn't obsessively listen to these songs this week, and don't promise to ever have this segment ever again. But I'm leaving myself the option.

"Destroy Everything You Touch" - Ladytron

Yes, this band has a name that sounds like the robotic temptress in some Skinemax concoction, but despite all that, this is quite the track. I came across this song courtesy of your friend and mine, Wil Wheaton. A little while ago he put up on the interwebs his own stream, and suitably intrigued I started playing it as background music as I slaved away for The Man. I dutifully noted songs that seemed groovy, though nothing knocked off my feet. Until this track appeared, that is. Why the instant attraction? Maybe it's the thumping beat, the synthy overtones, the female vocals, or the whole electro-goth ensemble. Oh yes. I listened to this song literally for days. It also caused me to go out and buy the cd (well, grab it off Amazon, anyway). It's not the only track on cd I like, but it is still my favourite.

"Long Snake Moan" - PJ Harvey

This song actually comes from the album "To Give You My Love", a cd I had borrowed off of a friend so I could add "Sheela Na Gig" to my iTunes collection (I couldn't find "Long Snake Moan" on YouTube, but "Sheela Na Gig" is there). Occasionally when I am playing poker or just pottering around the house I like to just select "random" on iTunes and see what turns up. This is my proven method of unearthing musical gems I possess, but didn't know I had.

As soon as "Long Snake Moan" started it completely floored me. Completely kick ass thumping guitar driven RAWK, accentuated perfectly by PJ's awesome distorted vocals. Last Thursday it came on my iPod as I was walking into the office, and I must have listened to it 8 times during the day. Unsurprisingly I churned out work like a Tornado of Productivity. It may also prepare you for battling a horde of undead.

"Daybreaker" - Beth Orton

First off let me say that I have a Monster Crush on Beth Orton. The first song of hers that caught my attention was "She Cries Your Name" off her first album, a hauntingly simple song that still gives me chills. What really won me over was "Stolen Car", a single off her next album which caused me to go out immediately and get the cd. Adding to my adoration of her was the fact that she also added vocals to tracks by The Chemical Brothers ("Alive Alone"), amongst others.

For whatever reason I never got around to picking up her other albums until I got tickets to see her live last year. Given the rushed nature of my acquisitions I didn't pay enough attention to them, and wouldn't have been able to pick any songs out of a line-up. Hence my wonder when once more my iTunes random selection played a track that I not only loved, but was by Beth. I added it instantly to my iPod Nano playlist and then completely forgot about it (I was extremely drunk and playing poker). The video is also completely trippy. Someone did a lot of acid to make that happen.

As I'm used to unfamiliar songs appearing on my iPod (due to alcohol-fuelled iTunes wandering), I paid attention when it popped up a few weeks later. Interesting, I thought, noting it was Beth Orton. I thought it was OK, right up until the chorus kicked in, at which point I was hooked completely.

"The Chemicals Between Us" - Bush

Just in case you think I only become enamoured with female vocalists, I present Exhibit A for the Defense. This one came up recently as I was heading in a friend's car to play a round of drunken golf. "Glycerine", the ballad by Bush that seemed to be all over the radio in the mid-90s, popped on the stereo, causing my companion to remark that he loved the song. I replied that it was OK-ish, but the song that I loved by them was "The Chemicals Between Us", which came off their mostly forgotten second cd.

At that memory of the song I had to instantly go and get it, so I could play it. And play it. And play it. And play it some more. I actually had a mini-playlist of this song and "Long Snake Moan" playing for most of the first hour of the Battle of the Blogger Tournament last Sunday (the undermanned HORSE event), while I sung along at the top of my voice. In related news I totally crushed my 5-handed table in the tournament for that same first hour. Coincidence? You decide.

This song and "Destroy Everything You Touch" also remind me of someone who has sauntered into my life recently, which is another reason I can't seem to stop listening to these two songs in particular. Nice when that happens.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Attention Daddy and AlCantHang

I present to you: The Bacontarian, a companion to The Bacon Blog: one man's adventure with the Bacon of the Month club.


Whups - things have been getting a little busy in these here parts, but I've been remiss in not posting about them. Last week in particular was jammed, with various internet celebrities converging on DC to partake in great food and conversation. Good, good times. I also managed to play footy, watch most of the Cricket World Cup final (won by Australia, woo!), spend more time with internet celebrities, and then spend all day Sunday at a golf tournament for my footy club.

Now, you may have noticed me talk about many sports, none of which are golf. There is a reason for this; the last time I set foot on a golf course was in 1998. Mind you, it was an enjoyable day. At the time I was working as a dish pig in a really nice restaurant (Matilda Bay Restaurant) to get me through University. The restaurant was only closed for three days of the year: Good Friday (which is a public holiday in Australia), Boxing Day (the day after Christmas, also a public holiday), and a day in Winter to allow for renovation and repair.

As anyone who has worked in hospitality can appreciate, everyone having the same day off means that everyone gets together to get drunk. Good Friday was usually an impromptu get together at someone's house, Boxing Day was usually a more organised get together somewhere (since we had all worked our guts out the previous day), but Renovation Day (the day off in Winter) was a bit different.

For Renovation Day the restaurant went out of its way to have a cool function. One year we had a medieval fancy dress ball at the Old Fremantle Prison (one of the most famous prisoners? Why, Moondyne Joe, of course... and Bon Scott, he of AC/DC fame) which was notable both for consumption of alcohol and for my losing the crucifix which formed part of my monk costume. Unfortunately I was not able to deflower any fine maidens.

One year we had a choice, either play nine holes of golf (fortified with alcohol), or attend a winery tour. The two groups would then meet up for lunch at the winery restaurant. Where was the winery? Margaret River, which was 4 hours or drive from Perth, the location of our place of employment. Obviously this is a fair drive for golf and wine. The solution? Work would fly us down in Cessna airplanes. I shit you not. Let's just say that flying home in a Cessna after playing nine holes of drunken golf, plus a drunken lunch at a winery restaurant, is pretty damn fine.

I think my best shot of the 9 holes of golf I played was a 5 iron I hit perfectly... except I needed to hit the ball half as far to hit the green Still, a very pretty shot. I also enjoyed my lusty drive on the 9th hole, which sliced so far it landed on the fairway of the wrong hole. Went pretty far though.

Given my golf history, you can be forgiven for assuming that I would suck this past Sunday. I rocked up to the course in flip-flops and an Australian beer t-shirt, neatly standing out as "That Guy Who Doesn't Play Golf". To complicate matters I also play golf left-handed (though I write and throw right-handed, but I kick left-footed... OK, I'm a mess). Fortunately we had verified that there were lefty clubs available for my use, so I was saved having to play right-handed - though maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

We were also playing scramble format, which is a lot of fun. We were playing 18 holes though, which seemed to me to be a lot of golf. I placed the Over/Under of "number of times we'll actually use my shot as the best one in the foursome) at 2.5, figuring that at the least I should be able to jag a crazy putt or two.

Fortified by endless cans of Yuengling, and free access to golf carts, I had a great time as I contributed almost nothing to my foursome's success, or lack thereof. I managed to smash the Over/Under, contributing 5 shots of sublime brilliance (or, more appropriately "less sucky shots than the other guys hit"). My personal highlight was totally mis-hitting a putt... which somehow managed to hit the line of the green perfectly, resulting in a crazy looping path for the ball that ended up a foot from the hole.

All in all it was a good day, and I look forward to my golf improving when I next play. Which should be some time in 2016.