Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Top Chef DC Recap 13: Island Party

We're just one show away from the finale! The conventional wisdom is that heading to Singapore for the Final Four means Angelo has an advantage, but we'll see how that pans out.

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Quickfire Challenge

Our four remaining chefs gather at a Singapore food market, and pretend to be glad to see each other. Tom shows up with "Seetoh", an expert on Singaporean cuisine, who takes all the chefs on a tour of the market. After touring and sampling from a number of stalls there is "one final stop" and... surprise! It's Padma, with a challenge: create a Singaporean Street Food dish. The chefs are each given a wok, and a wide selection of ingredients that are labelled, but in Cantonese. The kicker? Winner gets immunity, and goes straight to the finals.


Quickfire Losers

Kevin (Saunter, -0.5): This is Kevin's first time cooking with a wok. First. Ever. Even when he knew he was coming to Singapore. Mouth. Agape. Short. Sentences. For all those out there who haven't yet cooked with a wok, you are missing out, much like Kevin did in his attempt to win this challenge. He created a seafood stew with lobster and cuttlefish and crispy shallots, which didn't seem to be terrible, but wasn't good enough either.


Kelly (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Kelly seemed to have done more preparation than Kelly, and had even read Seetoh's book. She also tried to incorporate things she had learned during the day in her Chinese noodles with lobster, cockles, bean sprouts and Chinese broccoli. Unfortunately, no go for Kelly, who hasn't been picking up many points recently.


Angelo (All-Star, -0.5): Our first surprise, self-avowed wok expert Angelo did not win. He prepared chili frog legs with pineapple and rambutan salad, after calling an audible and not going with chili crabs (a dish they had been served earlier at the market). He probably made a good choice not trying to replicate a dish he was just served (as I am sure that he would in all likelihood suffer in the comparison), but he still wasn't not good enough to win. That's gonna leave a mark.


Quickfire Winner

Ed (Daddy, +3): Ed has been loud and clear that he wanted to stick it to Angelo, and he did here with his stir-fry noodles with black pepper sauce, lobster, and gai-lan. He used two types of noodles, and Seetoh seems to think he really captured the essence of street food. I do have to say that Seetoh seemed to compliment everyone, so it isn't as clear if Ed just stomped everyone or if everyone did well and Ed was just better, though I guess it doesn't matter in the end. Ed is through to the finale!

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Elimination Challenge

Dana Corwin must not have been happy with the amount of face-time she got during the "wine pairing" Quickfire, so she's back for the Elimination Challenge. The chefs are (once again) meant to be working as a team, catering a party for her and eighty of her closest friends. I still don't get the whole "working as a team" thing, to be honest. Is this so they all don't cook the same thing? Don't get it at all. Anyhow, all dishes are to be cooked a la minute, that is each dish is meant to be prepared to order. Given this last caveat, the chefs only want to cook one dish each, though Ed the sneaky sneak goes ahead and prepares for two, just in case (even though he has immunity!). And what happens at the last minute? Surprise! They have to prepare two dishes each. Good luck scrambling, non-Ed-chefs!

BTW - this was the worst party ever. It looked like a random bunch of people in a crappy looking restaurant. Dana Corwin is definitely not making the short list of party organizers for the next shindig at Chez Garthmeister.


Elimination Winner

Ed (Daddy, +6): Some might say that Ed had a distinct advantage, since he planned for two dishes from the get go. Still others might say is that's the case he is duly rewarded for his forethought. And the rest might go "Shut the fuck up, retards! Ed obviously CRUSHED the competition, and justice was served!" Ed also stood up and helped organised the (shitty) wait staff, as well as helping out Kevin in a pinch. His first dish was sweet and sour pork with crispy rice and potato cakes and gai lan, which got rave reviews from everyone. But then he knocked it out of the park with his banana fritters with red chile paste, which everyone freaks out about. Amusingly, this fritters was the "second" dish, so he has to be glad the judges wanted two dishes. Ed does seem to have a dab hand with fritters, as this reminds me of the dish he made to win the Elimination Challenge at the ball park.


Elimination Losers

Angelo (All-Star, -1): Angelo has to be super-pissed. Not only did he not win the quick-fire, but he wasn't able to win the Elimination Challenge, even when Ed had Immunity already! His first dish was his "emergency dish": spicy shrimp broth with ginger and prawn dumplings. His second dish was lamb tartare with rambutan ceviche and curry oil. A lamb tartare is unusual, and even though some of the judges (hi Dana!) admitted to not caring for tartare, they enjoyed this one. So despite not taking the challenge down, Angelo is alive to fight another day.

Kevin (Saunter, -1): It was a bit of a surprise to see Kevin make it through, especially when we discovered he had never used a wok before, but there you go. Kevin's first dish was clam chowder with flavors of Southeast Asia, which seems a neat way to meld his home cuisine with that of Singapore. It also didn't seem to be stated, but I thought this might be his "emergency dish". His second dish is more ambitious: farm egg with pearl tapioca and radish condiment. For this dish if the eggs aren't prepared exactly correctly, the whole thing is ruined, but Kevin managed to get it on point. And now has a chance in the finale!

Eliminated


Kelly (Garthmeister J, -1): BOOM! There goes Garthmeisters J's chances of taking back-to-back Fantasy Top Chef titles. Kelly did OK, despite cutting her finger open during prep, but her dishes weren't strong enough to see her through to the finale. Her first dish was her "emergency dish": cucumber-yogurt soup with bitter melon salad, balancing coolness with some heat. Her second dish was seared prawns, spicy red coconut curry and crispy prawn heads, which was probably not spicy enough (and which she admits to pulling the spice a little). Two decent dishes, but decent didn't cut it this time around.

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Points Table

Daddy: 43.5 (+9)
Saunter: 38 (-1.5)
Garth: 17.5 (-1.5, +10 for 4th, ELIMINATED)
All-Star: 14.5 (-1.5)
Gracie: 10.5 (ELIMINATED)

And here we are, down to the final three chefs, and the final three Fantasy Top Chef Players. Thanks to Ed, Daddy has made a late push. But now it comes down to the finale. For the time being we'll ignore any possible quickfires (I can't remember if there is one in the finale!). The final challenge doesn't get "bonus points" for winning it (ie. winning chef does not get 6 points as they do during an Elimination Challenge).

Overall winner gets 50 points, 2nd gets 35, 3rd gets 20. If there isn't a clear demarcation between 2nd and 3rd, the chefs are awarded equal points (ie. 27.5 points).

IF Ed wins, Daddy takes the competition.
IF Kevin wins, Saunter wins the competition.
IF Angelo wins, it all comes down to who comes second. In a "tie" between second and third, Daddy wins, with Saunter coming second. If Ed comes second, Daddy wins, with All-Star taking the consolation; if Kevin takes second, Saunter wins, with All-Star taking the consolation.

If there is a quickfire that might throw a spanner in the works, but I'll try and work it all out as we go. Onward!

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Top Chef DC Recap 12: Buzz Kill

We are one elimination away from the final four, who will be on their way to: Singapore! Any of the final five chefs could legitimately take down the competition, so this last preliminary week has pretty high stakes.

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Quickfire Challenge

This time the guest judge is Dana Cowin, editor of Food and Wine magazine. The challenge is to select a wine and then make a food pairing, a reasonable enough challenge. Angelo claims to be totally "passionate" about wine, but that's normal Angelo noise. Kelly's husband is the sommelier in her restaurant, and professes to do pairings all the time. Tiffany, interestingly, claims that pairings are not her strong suit. The rewards for this challenge? A trip to London! Nice!


Quickfire Losers

Kevin (Saunter, -0.5): Kevin made a boo-boo, trying to produce braised pork in an hour. When this failed miserably he fell back to trying quail, knowing it wasn't going to stand up to his Tangley Oaks Merlot. And despite apparently cooking the quail perfectly, he was correct in his fears. Solid recovery, but still not good enough to avoid being one of the losers.

Kelly (Garthmeister J., -0.5): I'm not going to like, when Kelly said she was making wild boar tenderloin with a blue cheese emulsion, I immediately began salivating. Unfortunately Dana did not like the emulsion, and that was that. I still want to try some, along with the Federalist Dry Creek zinfandel the boar was paired with.


Quickfire Finalist

Tiffany (Saunter, +1): Despite claiming not to be awesome at pairings, Tiffany does well with her cocoa-and-black-pepper-crusted Wagyu tenderloin with spring risotto, paired with Two Hands Shiraz. She also beat out Ed and his Wagyu dish, so good on her.


Quickfire Winner

Angelo (All-Star, +3): Mr Passionate wins the challenge, and wins a free trip to see his mail-order bride in London. Angelo seemed bang-on with his thoughts about pairing foie gras with his Evolution white wine, allowing him to get back onto the podium. All-Star certainly hopes this is a sign of things to come.

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Elimination Challenge

So, after creating wine pairings, what is the logical next step? Going to NASA, that's what! The chefs are told that they are also going to be able to cook for Buzz Aldrin, which is pretty awesome. Just one tip, chefs: don't tell Buzz that the Moon Landing was a hoax.



The chefs get to Goddard Space Command, and get to chat to two astronauts currently on the International Space Station, who talk about the food they get. Their challenge? Make a dish to tantalise the astronauts, and the winning dish will actually get made to be sent into space. They are given three tips: don't use too much sugar, don't use large pieces, and don't be afraid of spices.

For the judging, all of a sudden Anthony Bourdain is there. First thought: what? Second thought: yay! Bourdain rules, end of story.


Elimination Winner

Angelo (All-Star, +6): He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Angelo adds to the list of chefs who have won both challenges in the same episode, and goes into the final four with plenty of momentum. When Angelo first mentioned that he was making braised short ribs, my first thoughts were "too sweet, too large". As it turns out, everyone seemed to make large items, and the sweetness seemed OK. Angelo did start on some douchetastic bullshit that Anthony Bourdain instantly shut down, but his food did all the talking required.


Elimination Losers

Kevin (Saunter, -1): While the other chefs went exotic, Kevin stayed at home, producing a New York strip with bacon-jalapeno marmalade and corn puree with crispy Vidalia onions. His thought was that astronauts would like a slice of home, but come on: who wouldn't want steak with bacon-jalapeno marmalade?! Bourdain seemed to poo-poo the idea of steak, but hey, if it's good it's good. It just wasn't good enough to win.

Kelly (Garthmeister J., -1): Another negative for Kelly. Once again she just seemed to be in the middle with her dish, pan-roasted halibut with artichoke and fennel barigoule and a salsa verde salad. Ripert digs the artichokes, especially since she admitted learning the technique in Provence. Unfortunately the other judges didn't think that her dish was original enough.

Ed (Daddy, -1): I was impressed with Ed going all-out Moroccan with his yogurt-marinated rack of lamb with eggplant puree and couscous croquette with hummus. Ripert didn't seem to like the dish, but Ripert seems like more of a pansy each week. Bourdain thought the dish was dead-on, but Ripert's concerns might have been enough to cost him the win.


Eliminated

Tiffany (Saunter, -1): Just... wow. Prior to this episode, Tiffany would probably have been my favourite to take down the title. It wasn't as if she made a poor dish, but her dish was just fifth-best. She made pan-seared Alaskan halibut with coconut curry, snow pea shoots, and jasmine rice. The dish was meant to come with mussels, but unfortunately they froze, which might have been enough to send her home. Just a shame; I was looking forward to seeing her cook until the end.

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Points Table

Saunter: 38 (-1.5)
Daddy: 33.5 (-1)
All-Star: 25 (+9)
Gracie: 10.5 (ELIMINATED)
Garth: 9 (-1.5)

Wow. With Saunter losing Tiffany, and Angelo coming up big for All-Star, this competition just became wide open. Garth is going to need Kelly to run the table, but it's extremely possible right now that the eventual winner of this competition is going to be whoever owns the Top Chef. It's going to be exciting right to the end. Who has the edge? Probably All-Star; despite being third right now it looks like Angelo has his mojo back, and Singapore has to be in his wheelhouse.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Top Chef DC 11: There's No Raw Fish in Baseball

You know, I'm torn on not having Alex the Videographer around any more. While he never had a chance on winning, it was somewhat amusing to have him around to say outlandish things and to fail repeatedly. On the other hand, he was a giant tool. So, it's probably a wash. And we still have plenty of tools left (hi Angelo!).

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Quickfire Challenge

Our guest chef is Rick Moonen, famous for fish, but instead of anything to do with that the Producers once again demonstrate that they are running out of ideas. This challenge is to have to choose an "idiom" to cook with; you know, "the big cheese" or "sour grapes" etc. This was clearly thought up two seconds before they started filming. They may as well have just gone "here's a bunch of food items, draw knives and choose which one you want to cook with", which is exactly what happened anyway. Seriously, wtf? Anyhow, the winner will get their dish added to "Schwan's frozen food range", which is something I don't know anything about.


Quickfire Losers

Kelly (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Kelly selected "sour grapes", and that's what she ended up with, as her pan-roasted chicken breast, caramelized Brussels sprouts leaves and red grape sauce did not impress. Lagging at the back of the pack, Garth needs Kelly to be bringing more to the positive side of the ledger.

Amanda (All-Star, -0.5): Amanda chose "the big cheese" and then made mac&cheese along with a pork chop? This is described as a "sledgehammer to the gut", which is not exactly high praise. Amanda then goes on and on in an interview about how she totally disagrees, and maybe the judges are out for her and how she is have a "pity party" in her mind... I guess all the meth use has finally driven her completely paranoid. Except for the part where the judges might actually have it in for her... but more because of her cooking ability rather than anything more nefarious.


Quickfire Finalist


Kevin (Saunter, +1): Another nice showing from Kevin, who selected the idiom "bringing home the bacon". He then uses bacon in as many ways as possible in his bacon puree, chopped bacon, and bacon froth with a poached egg. Angelo points out that this probably wouldn't make a good frozen dish, and that's very true. I wonder if that made deciding between him and the eventual winner of the challenge easier.


Quickfire Winner


Ed (Daddy, +3): Ed chose "hot potato", and created herb and roasted garlic gnocchi, spring vegetables, and mushroom fricassee which looked absolutely delicious. Apparently it also tasted delicious, as it brings home the prize. Good job Ed, despite the fact that he was wearing Tiffany's dress at the beginning of the episode (true) and also running around like a lunatic for most of the challenge (also true).

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Elimination Challenge

The chefs are thrown a curve ball (zing!) as they are required to create high-end food for a baseball game. Which they will actually serve at a baseball game at Nationals park. This is presented as being a "group" challenge, as if they will be working together, which I don't quite get. I mean, what if three of them all want to do some kind of burger; who cares? It just makes it more likely that one of the burger people will go home. This kind of Burger Crisis is averted when Kelly becomes bossy and tells everyone what to do. Somewhat annoying, but way less annoying than the Kenny vs Angelo pissing match that annoyed America last time they had to do something like this.

There is also some strife about who might be taking orders etc. etc. which seems strange at the time, because why would one of the chefs be needed to take orders? But then it turns out that someone does need to take orders... man what the hell. Just let the fucking chefs cook, for Christ's sake. Angelo steps up and takes the bullet, though he tries to renege later (a total douche move, btw). Ed helps Angelo plate his food though, so that's cool.


Quickfire Finalist

Tiffany (Saunter, +2): Tiffany went out and made an Italian meatball sub with fennel, basil pesto, and fresh mozzarella which looks amazing. So, so good. I was licking my TV screen (again), but hey, don't judge me. It was a great idea of making a baseball park staple high-end, and I was actually surprised she didn't win. This still solidifies her credentials as an Official Top Chef Threat (OTCT).


Quickfire Winner

Ed (Daddy, +6): The double! Ed with a solid showing, taking out both challenges in today's episode. While watching the episode, I was discounting Ed's shrimp and corn risotto fritters with jalapeno aoli, but then they turned around and took the whole challenge down! Bonus points to Ed for plating Angelo's dish as well


Elimination Losers

Only two "finalists" today, so the remaining four are losers.

Kelly (Garthmeister J., -1): Oof, more negative points for Garth. Kelly's dish is an open-faced crab cake BLT with sweet potato fries, which the crowd seems to like. Kelly was concerned that the bacon was cut too thick, making the dish a little too salty, which is exactly what the judges complain about.

Angelo (All-Star, -1): Angelo made sweet glazed pork on lobster roll with sweet sesame pickles. I actually feel sorry for Angelo here (shock!) as he settled for hotdog rolls as his bun, though he was clearly looking for something else at Whole Foods. The hotdog rolls brought him down, as all the judges complained about the amount of bun, and how it was like a sponge etc. Maybe he could have made his own rolls or something? The judges also complain about the sweetness of the dish, and when Angelo points out that some napa cabbage was there to cut the sweetned he is told "uh, that's sweet too". D'oh.

Kevin (Saunter, -1): Kevin made a chicken kebab with Romesco sauce, shoestring fries, and smoked paprika aoli. There were two errors here: firstly, Kevin seems to have organised the skewers so you felt like you were going to spike your own throat (not ideal). Secondly, he sprinkled shoe-string fries over the top of the kebab to provide "texture", and they soaked up sauce and became soggy. Whups.


Eliminated

Amanda (All-Star, -1): And All-Star is down to one chef. Amanda gets pinged her for poor planning and forethought. Her dish was yellowfin tuna tartare with fennel, Meyer lemon, and fava bean puree. Tuna tartare at a ballpark?! You have to give her credit for ballsiness. She decided that doing the tartare on the day of the challenge was too risky as she didn't know what she was walking into, so prepared the tuna the day earlier. Given this "risk", why not choose to do something else?

It seems the dish tasted well enough, but as she diced it the day before and didn't cover it in oil the tuna began to oxidise, giving it a grey colour. And if you thought that tuna tartare wasn't appetising at a ballgame, grey tuna tartare is worse than that. So bonus points for ambition, minus several thousand points for planning and execution. For this challenge everyone seemed to prepare a solid dish, and that mis-step cost Amanda. And now she's gone.

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Points Table

Saunter: 39.5 (+2)
Daddy: 34.5 (+9)
All-Star: 16 (-2.5)
Garth: 10.5 (-1.5)
Grace: 10.5 (ELIMINATED)

On the back of Ed's standout performance, Daddy closes some of the gap with Saunter. Any of the five remaining chefs could take out the competition, but Saunter is the only person left with two chefs in her stable. If she doesn't lose someone soon, she could be hard to catch. All-Star has managed to shed Amanda, who has been bleeding points, but Angelo hasn't won a challenge since the Quickfire in Episode 7. Garth has to be concerned about Kelly; right now it's not enough for her to win the whole shebang, she's going to have to start putting points on the board in challenges if Saunter and Daddy are going to be beaten.

With 5 chefs remaining, and four Top Chef Fantasy teams still alive, there is a real chance that after the next episode, another team is going to be eliminated. Watch out!